High Conflict
Divorce Lawyer
What is a high conflict divorce case?
High Conflict Divorce Attorneys
When you’re dealing with a high conflict divorce, it’s vital to have a divorce lawyer with the experience, knowledge and skills to handle these types of issues. While many divorces involve disagreements and can be solved through communication, high conflict divorces do not resolve through negotiations or mediation. The underlying reason may be one or both parties have high conflict personalities.
What factors determine whether you’re involved in a high conflict divorce?
In this type of divorce, one or both parties are trying to harm the other party emotionally or are attempting to obstruct the divorce process.
The following are examples of actions that have this effect:
Bullying through texts, emails or other communication- Abusive or inflammatory communication to undermine or malign the other person
- Exaggeration and twisting facts to make situations appear more serious than they actually are or were
- Continuous quarreling and failure to agree on divorce terms
- Disregarding the best interest of the children
- Blaming others instead of taking responsibility for harmful behavior
- Withholding financial information or hindering disclosure of it
- Acting irrationally and failing to control negative emotions
- Never admitting fault and insisting on being right
How do personality disorders relate to high conflict?
High conflict can arise as a result of various personality disorders, such as:
- A narcissistic personality is very egotistical, lacks empathy for other people, is self-serving and insists on their own personal gain.
- Anti-social personality. Also referred to as a sociopath, this personality lies to take advantage of others and uses wit or charm as a means of manipulation along with intimidation or hostile threats. They fail to meet their financial responsibilities or work obligations. In addition they have no remorse or consideration for what is right or wrong.
- Borderline personality. This disorder causes mood swings. Emotions vary from loving gestures to hostility and aggression. It is common for the person to have angry outbursts that are unreasonable for the situation.
How should you respond to high conflict situations?
It is common for any divorce to be challenging and emotional. However, in a high conflict divorce, conditions can escalate and even become violent. Some guidelines to prevent this from happening include:
- Avoid reacting. Although the other party is spreading false rumors and trying to undermine you, do not react. They will bully, send combative texts and attempt to make you appear like you’re crazy. It’s vital that you remain factual do not fight back. Ensure you don’t respond in a defensive manner.
- Do not engage and prevent as much contact as you can. When couples have children, there will always be some contact. Whenever possible avoid contact. One example where you can do this is when dropping off or picking up your children. Don’t initiate or engage in conversation. Whether face-to-face, or through texts and emails, give short and factual answers. If your spouse verbally attacks you, do not fight with them. High conflict personalities do not use reason. Emotional battles feel empowering for them because they must dominate and be in control. If you can avoid face-to-face contact, do so. Remaining silent is the best response, whenever possible.
- Anticipate their behavior. Persons who have a high conflict personality do not behave like normal people. Normal people can learn from their mistakes, change their behavior and fix relationships. While the high conflict person may pretend to change or act charming in limited situations, they don’t change. You can anticipate that they will send declarations to the court that exaggerate minor mistakes or that manufacture falsehoods. Be wary. Never disclose anything they could twist and use against you. Instead, document the facts of what has occurred. Also, keep a record of their court order violations and save their abusive and accusatory texts and emails.
- Choose parallel parenting. Parallel parenting allows each parent to be in charge separately when their children are in their custody. When they have parent-teacher conferences or doctors’ appointments, they do them without the other parent being present. Contact only fuels the high conflict parents need to quarrel and create conflict. Psychologists say it is the conflict rather than divorce that is damaging to children emotionally and academically.
Generally the court will agree to seal records when public disclosure would harm either one or both of the parties.
How should you respond to high conflict situations?
It is common for any divorce to be challenging and emotional. However, in a high conflict divorce, conditions can escalate and even become violent. Some guidelines to prevent this from happening include:
- Avoid reacting. Although the other party is spreading false rumors and trying to undermine you, do not react. They will bully, send combative texts and attempt to make you appear like you’re crazy. It’s vital that you remain factual do not fight back. Ensure you don’t respond in a defensive manner.
- Do not engage and prevent as much contact as you can. When couples have children, there will always be some contact. Whenever possible avoid contact. One example where you can do this is when dropping off or picking up your children. Don’t initiate or engage in conversation. Whether face-to-face, or through texts and emails, give short and factual answers. If your spouse verbally attacks you, do not fight with them. High conflict personalities do not use reason. Emotional battles feel empowering for them because they must dominate and be in control. If you can avoid face-to-face contact, do so. Remaining silent is the best response, whenever possible.
- Anticipate their behavior. Persons who have a high conflict personality do not behave like normal people. Normal people can learn from their mistakes, change their behavior and fix relationships. While the high conflict person may pretend to change or act charming in limited situations, they don’t change. You can anticipate that they will send declarations to the court that exaggerate minor mistakes or that manufacture falsehoods. Be wary. Never disclose anything they could twist and use against you. Instead, document the facts of what has occurred. Also, keep a record of their court order violations and save their abusive and accusatory texts and emails.
- Choose parallel parenting. Parallel parenting allows each parent to be in charge separately when their children are in their custody. When they have parent-teacher conferences or doctors’ appointments, they do them without the other parent being present. Contact only fuels the high conflict parents need to quarrel and create conflict. Psychologists say it is the conflict rather than divorce that is damaging to children emotionally and academically.
Generally the court will agree to seal records when public disclosure would harm either one or both of the parties.
Discuss your concerns with a
high conflict divorce lawyer
Find out how we can help you address the conflict in your divorce. We are glad to address your concerns, answer your questions and devise a strategy to meet your needs.
Call 940.566.0606 to schedule an appointment.
Reach out to us
DTX Family Law
525 S. Locust Street, Ste. 100
Denton Texas 76201
Phone: 940.566.0606