Ways that You Can (and Typically Won’t) Help Your Child
It’s one of the worst nightmares a parent can imagine—your adult child becomes an addict and returns home to live with you. You want what’s best for your child and you want to help them into some type of recovery, but you can be uncertain about the right thing to do.
Actions that Won’t Typically Make Things Better
Effectively responding to or dealing with addiction is rarely, if ever, easy. But you won’t accomplish anything by pretending that there isn’t a problem. Don’t make excuses for your child, and don’t pretend that their behavior doesn’t affect others around them.
At the same time, though, there’s little to be gained by berating your child—you can’t shame them into changing their behavior…they’re already living with a vast amount of shame.
Don’t engage in behavior that enables their addiction. One of the most common ways to do that is to give them money. It doesn’t matter if it’s a loan or a gift…it still provides them with the tools to feed their addiction.
Doing the Right Things When Your Adult Children are Addicts Who Live with You
A study conducted by the Pew Research Center in 2016 found that, over a 35 year period, the number of addicts between the ages of 25 and 35 who had moved back in with their parents had nearly doubled, from 8% to 15%. Research consistently shows that the most effective ways to help your adult children into meaningful recovery from addition include:
- Helping your child find the necessary support services—Don’t try to “fix” your child’s problem, even though that’s what you’ll typically want to do as a parent. Addiction usually requires professional help.
- Setting appropriate boundaries—Your child needs more than love and compassion…your child needs you to be clear about what is and what isn’t acceptable, whether it’s borrowing money or acting inappropriately at social or family events.
- Focusing on behaviors and not emotions—You may experience many emotions, including anger, hurt and powerlessness, but focusing on those emotions won’t help you move forward. Instead, try to clearly identify behaviors that cause concern.
Contact Experienced Texas Family Law Attorney Chrysandra S. Bowen
At DTX Family Law, we always put your interests first. We know that the legal process can be complex and confusing, and we’ll carefully explain your rights and options, as well as your chances of success, so that you can make good decisions for you and your family. Chrysandra is board-certified by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization, an honor earned by less than one of every ten family law attorneys in the state. To schedule an appointment with a proven and effective Texas family lawyer, visit our new website or call our offices at 940-566-0606.
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